"The Invisible Child" - a Moomin favorite.

“You all know, don’t you, that if people are frightened very often, they sometimes become invisible.”

-Tuutikki from the Moominvalley.

What a simple but genius line by our dear Finnish author, Tove Jansson. The Invisible Child is a great example of a children’s story that within its sweet whimsicalness holds profound wisdom. After teaching learning techniques and healthy behavior through a *dance program in LA, I’ve met children who with great effort keep trying to dissipate into the colors of the wall. I’ve met children who have decided to become mute by choice, literally never speaking. I’ve met children who, with averted eyes, answer on auto pilot, not even listening to the question. I’ve met children whose go-to is to play dead, who start trembling if you walk too close to them or make a quick movement. All these darling souls have their individual circumstances, but one thing they seem to have in common is the wish to make an undesirable feeling go away... oftentimes, fear, pain or shame. Marco Sarinana, the program director of the dance program, taught us instructors to treat these children like the Moomin-mamma treats Ninni in The Invisible Child: with kindness, consistency and patience. And just like in the story, in their own time, the colors of their beings could safely return.

However, I also learned that there is another, trickier, kind of invisible child: the loud and the obnoxious kind! The twitching and the screaming trouble maker who’ll slap away your hand and scoff at your kindness. Those kids usually don’t get the Moomin-mamma treatment because their symptoms are not the same, and definitely not as heartbreaking at first sight. They insult, push away, threaten, instigate... all very unlikable reactions that might not exactly tug on the heartstring as much as the shivering little creature in the corner of the room. However, these instigators need just the same patience. They’re just on the other side of the same spectrum. Instead of flight they chose fight, and they’ll fight themselves into a pulp, along with anyone else in their way. These children have built themselves a different protection - active rather than passive - but the building blocks are still made of the same pain, and the result is still a wall... a wall made to create invisibility for that spot inside that can be hurt. Sadly, more than a few times, I’ve heard teachers say: “That’s just a bad child,” so their pain gets overlooked. Untreated. When I read stories like Tove Jansson’s The Invisible Child in the Tales from Moominvalley, I once again get reminded of the responsibility we have to really, really SEE, a child, even through their invisibility.

May all children feel safe enough to shine and thanks to all the Moomin-mammas and Moomin-pappas out there, breathing colors back into forgotten children.

Please share one of your own reflections about invisibility...

Love,

Paulina

* Best Foot Forward is a dance program in Los Angeles that uses dance to teach healthy behavior and learning techniques. Many of their methods are created by Marco Sariñana with Part of the Journey Learning Foundation - www.partofthejourney.org